The children have been in the same foster home since birth, the home of a middle aged nun. She has by all accounts been a wonderful mother to them, and they are thriving. However, the mother doesn't want to adopt them, since she has some health problems herself, and the Catholic order to which she belongs probably would not let her adopt the children permanently anyway. Apparently they are worried about their long term responsibility if if she adopts them and then something happens to her.
I feel terrible about the prospect of these four year olds having to be taken from the only home they have ever known, to be raised by current strangers. I want to be sure they end up with a great family that will deal with and minimize the trauma that will be for them, but I can't agree to adopt them myself.
I like kids and have enjoyed raising my own kids (and still have some of that to go, which is okay with me), but now I'm at a different stage in my life. I look forward to doing things I couldn't do with small children, like maybe going on a medical relief trip (maybe Doctors Without Borders?), reading more novels, attending more sporting events, and just generally having more free time. I'm also not at all sure I could give adopted kids the same commitment to parenting I did for my own, and if I can't be a good parent, I don't want to be one at all.
Also, these kids have a quite different genetic make-up than my own. Will they, like their mother, be prone to live chaotic, maybe addictive lives? That would be very difficult to handle. Finally, and I'm hesitant to admit this, when I really question myself I wonder if my reluctance has anything to do with the fact that the kids are black and I'm not. I don't want to be prejudiced, and I try not to be, but when I imagine the kids being white, I'm embarrassed to say I have a slightly different feeling towards them - but I still don't want to adopt them.
I just hope they don't end up being passed around from home to home in the foster system. Anyone want a couple of nice kids?
P.S. I'm sorry this post is late, but my computer got into a spat with our internet service provider, and I was without computer service for awhile.