Consider the message received, but do let me try to explain my feelings one more time. I'm aware of the reasons why mothers will do this. I know that when people are stressed they don't always say the right thing. I also know that parents often don't understand what's going on, and even if they do, don't know what to ask. I know that medications can make mothers say some crazy things, although that wasn't the case in the example I gave. I know that delivery of a baby can be an overwhelming experience. Finally, I am well aware that it is not a trivial thing when a baby cannot go to mother's room or go home with her.
Try, though, for a moment to look at it from my side. Sure, it's very important for a baby to go to mother's room with her, but it's far more important that the baby live and not die. It's important to a mother to have her baby go home with her, but it's far more important that she take a live baby home rather than a dead baby. It's important for a mother to not be separated from her baby because of phototherapy, but the importance of that separation pales in comparison to the importance of not letting her baby get brain damage from jaundice. I'm not saying mother's concerns are trivial. It's just that compared to our concerns, the mother's are, well, less significant. And parents don't always get that. And we doctors (and nurses), imperfect beings that we are, can get frustrated by that - even when we understand why mother might be saying what she is.
Let me close by saying that when talking to parents I'm an insensitive boob maybe only about ten to twenty per cent of the time. The rest of the time, believe it or not, I usually have a good relationship with parents. It's a wonderful thing to not always say what you're thinking.