I am reminded of the time in medical school when I listened to a very abnormal heart for the first time. The elderly patient had an artificial heart valve, and his heart wasn't working too well. When I put my stethescope on his chest, instead of hearing the usual "lub dup, lub dup" sound of a normal beating heart, I heard "whooosh pop click, whooosh pop click." I almost wanted to say out loud, "Wow, cool!", because that's how I felt. The elderly man's misfortune was an exciting moment for me, but he probably didn't think it was too cool to have that bad heart.
The other night on call I went to the labor and delivery area to see what was on "the board", a list of the women in labor, to see if there were any potential NICU patients. We were busy and didn't really need more patients. I scanned over the list and came across one who was premature. I started to frown, but wait, there was an IUFD sign on her spot. Before I could catch myself, I thought "Oh, good, it's an IUFD." I immediately felt bad, though, for thinking that, because IUFD stands for intrauterine fetal demise. She was going to have to deliver a stillborn child, a terrible thing for anybody, but not something that would involve me. It seemed like a sick thing for me to be glad about it, but I couldn't help it, because her IUFD meant an easier call night. If she had a live premature baby, it might have kept me up that night.
It can be a weird business sometimes.